relieved yet freaking out.

I had an amazing experience on Tuesday.  I won't go into the details, but suffice to say, I am amazed at the peace and forgiveness that I experienced regarding my crazy ex, James, my first love, and the most abusive man I have ever met.  I feel resolved, no longer traumatized.  It feels wonderful.  I feel much lighter.

I shared my experience with my counselor, and I believe he might have thought I was crazy, but agreed that I have attained the peace I was trying to get through EMDR.  We are no longer going to be focusing on James....  which is awesome, amazing, but it means I have to finally face my very ugly demons.  I don't want to, but I know I have to.  I feel confused, upset, ashamed.  But, I will get through it.

I am so grateful for my therapist.  I believe whole-heartedly that he can help me get through this.