thursday

the jolt, upon hearing the most simple of words makes me wonder, but not too much. i'll remain cautious. no need to dig. that jolt, though.... i can hear it in my center, claiming "i've never not been." seems silly to try to force a move now. all these things that consist of my makings, these ingredients have been very carefully and accurately measured then mixed, set out to rest til ready, baked, and then set out to cool. here i am, aging, becoming more refined, more aware, or more convoluted, less defined. i doubt i'll ever decipher which. how can we be aware of all these things. a bucket full here, a pinch there.... it's too much for anyone to keep track of.